| During my whole middleschool and highschool life, I was WAY too shy to date anyone (being gay wasn't easy when you're a 14-15 yo with a very low self esteem) For the past few years, there was just nobody around me to date, growing in the country, in a little village, isn't a really easy situation if you want to hangout with someone I wouldn't mind date someone now, I just need to find the right person ugh, but that also means I have to socialize first, life is complicated |
| When I was single it was mostly because I didn't give a shit. Relationships aren't important. |
 |
| Never dated anyone (I'm still young so I don't worry too much about it) Now why : FlowersInTheRain said: Low self esteem |
 "I want to show that woman the true Yoshikage Kira. I want her to hear how I feel deep inside. That I want to take your slender neck into these hands and strangle you to death." |
| because humanity, humanity, and did i mention humanity |
| i never had many female opportunities to contact was in an all boys middle school (grade 5-10) that said in grade 7 i had my first and last gf (lmao) lasted a month had like 5-6 girls in my class in 11th/12th grade, i was on friendly terms with most except for one due to being bullied verbally in middle school im socially fucked up and don't really want to deal with people that much, that said i don't think ive ever had a bad experience with a girl i got rejected by my best female friend in university but she was really nice about it so thats fine again my university classes mostly male, except for her and 7-8 other girls of which i only got to know 3 and then my theatre classes i had one girl who was totally into me consantly asking me out telling me im cute but i was a dumb idiot and at the time i didn't really care even though she was cute and had a fantastic personality, i don't know, i guess subconsciously im still fucked from being bullied and i can't get over it, therapy didn't help either most girl i was dealing with were really nice though, but i just haven't met that many mostly my fault, and also just me not approaching people that said i dont really care as much about it, more than that im just depressed about my own failures and incompetence in things i like doing as well as social securities that are deeply ingrained and i can't seem to get rid off for that reason i also run and lift at 5 AM just to avoid people at the gym or road lmao yea im still a virgin, im 24 unlike my birthdate says which is wrong btw not the type to just approach random people or go on dating apps i don't really care about that stuff, i'd rather have it come more naturally right now im just looking for a temporary job until i can get an apprenticeship and job in a different field, earn some money because im almost broke from what i've saved during working while in uni wasted too much money so im kinda neet for these past 6 months - 1 year ( fcked up my thesis and got thrown out of uni ), well except for mornings for exercise.. but yeah i dont know, everything kinda sucks tbh and i feel like shit in general i have huge social anxiety because of being bullied in middle school i've just not had much opportunities to build relationships due to my environment and my social insecurities, and not just women, also friendship with guys although i went partying and drinking a lot in 11th and 12th grade and had a social group in uni but i have never really done anything hobby esque outside of school/uni, except for soccer, table tennis and karate which i've all quit i could go on but i think you get the idea |
You son of a .. turtle  |
| I've hooked up with people before, but have never been in a relationship. I've also been on one blind date (sort-of), though that never went anywhere. That said, I guess a lot of it has to do with my own insecurities since I've never really made an active effort to approach people for a variety of reasons; I'm not entirely sure what I want out of a relationship at this stage, I'm very withdrawn and somewhat self-conscious and have been really busy to the point where the idea of a romantic relationship seldom crosses my mind. |
Take care of yourself |
| Because going on dates is rarely done in the Netherlands; it seems kind of dumb to me, and it's basically saying "I have no idea who or what you are as a person, but I'm attracted to you purely because of your looks, so let's go on a date.". There was never a need for me to go on a date, due to this odd concept of actually knowing a man ere one crush on him, and already having an established social connexion therewith. |
 It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
| I've never dated in my life, I'm 19 years old. Do I care? Most of the time not really, but I wouldn't mind meeting a person I would fall in love with. Probably also my fault, because I'm not the most outgoing guy ever and rarely make the first contact with someone. That's about it |
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| I've said this a few times haha. But i've never dated anyone before because all throughout my school life, i had a crush on one person. As a result i turned down every single guy who asked me out. I was too shy as well, still am, but not too a debilitating degree. I'd love to have a boyfriend, but i don't have the confidence to take the first step soo #foreveralone. |
| I have a big family and a large number of friends (including a few with benefits ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)), so I guess I never felt the need to be in a relationship with a girlfriend... Altough I think it would be nice to have a special someone, but everytime I think about, it looks so much work, that I forget it a minute later. Maybe some day I'll fall in love so hard that nothing else matters, but until then, I'm cool being single. |
| I never dated anyone because I never felt romantic attracted to anyone. I do feel sexual attraction but never felt romantic ones. |
 Leading biologist Scott Pitnick said: The bigger your 'nads, the smaller your brains |
fancyjasper said: I've said this a few times haha. But i've never dated anyone before because all throughout my school life, i had a crush on one person. As a result i turned down every single guy who asked me out. I was too shy as well, still am, but not too a debilitating degree. I'd love to have a boyfriend, but i don't have the confidence to take the first step soo #foreveralone. So you just turned down all your potential partners, because you have oneitis for this one guy who can't catch a clue that you're interested in him... idk maybe you should try harder to let him know you're into him... like trying touching him and having risque conversations... stick around him even when you don't have to, laugh at his jokes... talk to him about how single you are and how in your own words would love to have a boyfriend. Fucking do something. Don't just spend your whole fucking life waiting on this one dude and turning down every other potential partner. Also plz stop with this #forever alone shit. Try not having anyone even acknowledge you, getting friendzoned, rejected, ghosted, stood up, ignored and even told you're not x, y and z things enough to be with them. You literally have dudes asking you out that you're rejecting... Anyway I've been dating since middle school and I'm fairly happy in my current relationship. |
LoneWolfOct 22, 2019 6:34 PM
 "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche |
123fendas said: WHAT THE FUCK. I am 16 years old, and I very much do want to date a girl. I have been very attracted to people. and besides, I have next to no standards. I will accept nearly anyone. Yes, I'm shy. It seems that there is no one around me to date, but maybe that's incorrect. and I am very frustrated I feel you man. Its really rough out there. If you ever need to talk to someone about it, feel free to shoot me a PM. |
| Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the Site & Forum Guidelines. |
| Wow from an outsider's perspective this is an extremely depressing thread. |
| Didn't date anyone in high school because I wasn't even remotely interested in women. I even rejected a couple offers, and all I knew was that I wasn't interested for some reason. Then, college rolls around and I get asked out by a girl in one of my classes. It lasted for about a month and we went on one date, and I eventually broke it off. That's one date and I broke up after, so it kinda hardly counts for anything. Now today, I understand a bit more about myself. I'm gay and nobody around me besides my parents know. That's why I haven't been on any dates (not counting the one I previously mentioned). I'm just between a rock and a hard place at the moment. |
BallistikJuice said: In reality, sex only takes several minutes and once you've done with it, you ready to roll and do your own stuff. That just means you're not doing it right. |
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BallistikJuice said: There is only one way of doing it, but enlighten me anyway, oh you mighty sex-guru. Learn to enjoy foreplay, a lot. When you watch an anime, you don't skip to the climatic final episode do you? The whole journey is supposed to be fun. If you approach sex from the sole standpoint of cumming and penetrating you are bound to be disappointed when you find that its not a whole lot better than jerking off. |
| Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the Site & Forum Guidelines. |
| Because nobody asked me out. It's my motto in life to never be the first to make the move. |
Ryuk9428 said: BallistikJuice said: In reality, sex only takes several minutes and once you've done with it, you ready to roll and do your own stuff. That just means you're not doing it right. Yea, I've never liked quickies. Several minutes aren't enough even for some playful spanking which is just a warm up before the real foreplay begins. But yes, some people don't have that much free time or are simply not interested in "improving" their sex life. |
LoneWolf said: fancyjasper said: I've said this a few times haha. But i've never dated anyone before because all throughout my school life, i had a crush on one person. As a result i turned down every single guy who asked me out. I was too shy as well, still am, but not too a debilitating degree. I'd love to have a boyfriend, but i don't have the confidence to take the first step soo #foreveralone. So you just turned down all your potential partners, because you have oneitis for this one guy who can't catch a clue that you're interested in him... idk maybe you should try harder to let him know you're into him... like trying touching him and having risque conversations... stick around him even when you don't have to, laugh at his jokes... talk to him about how single you are and how in your own words would love to have a boyfriend. Fucking do something. Don't just spend your whole fucking life waiting on this one dude and turning down every other potential partner. Also plz stop with this #forever alone shit. Try not having anyone even acknowledge you, getting friendzoned, rejected, ghosted, stood up, ignored and even told you're not x, y and z things enough to be with them. You literally have dudes asking you out that you're rejecting... Anyway I've been dating since middle school and I'm fairly happy in my current relationship. This was about 3-4 years ago when i was in school. My bad for not making it clearer. I wasn't even on a friend level with the guy, it was just a crush. Haven't spoken to a guy my age irl in years since leaving school and getting a job :^) That's why i said i lack the confidence to take the first step to even find someone. I might be meeting someone i met online which would be a huge step for me, but we'll see. Sometimes i just think it's better to embrace being alone instead of holding out hope in finding someone, that's all. I was being ironic, i never say # anything :> But hey, i'm glad things are going well for you. |
FancyjasperOct 23, 2019 1:50 AM
BallistikJuice said: Dating is pretty much a babysitting job, walking around together, holding hands - fucking childish crap, waste of time. In reality, sex only takes several minutes and once you've done with it, you ready to roll and do your own stuff. If your partner don't have any busy hobbies/interests on their own and instead demand you to spend a lot of time with them, then this kind of "relationship" won't last very long (unless of course you are a pussy Beta-wimp and do whatever they ask you to). I feel sorry for your GF, If I were her I would've dumped you after one night. |
  Never explain, Never retract, Never apologize Just get the thing done And let them howl |
fancyjasper said: LoneWolf said: So you just turned down all your potential partners, because you have oneitis for this one guy who can't catch a clue that you're interested in him... idk maybe you should try harder to let him know you're into him... like trying touching him and having risque conversations... stick around him even when you don't have to, laugh at his jokes... talk to him about how single you are and how in your own words would love to have a boyfriend. Fucking do something. Don't just spend your whole fucking life waiting on this one dude and turning down every other potential partner. Also plz stop with this #forever alone shit. Try not having anyone even acknowledge you, getting friendzoned, rejected, ghosted, stood up, ignored and even told you're not x, y and z things enough to be with them. You literally have dudes asking you out that you're rejecting... Anyway I've been dating since middle school and I'm fairly happy in my current relationship. This was about 3-4 years ago when i was in school. My bad for not making it clearer. I wasn't even on a friend level with the guy, it was just a crush. Haven't spoken to a guy my age irl in years since leaving school and getting a job :^) That's why i said i lack the confidence to take the first step to even find someone. I might be meeting someone i met online which would be a huge step for me, but we'll see. Sometimes i just think it's better to embrace being alone instead of holding out hope in finding someone, that's all. I was being ironic, i never say # anything :> But hey, i'm glad things are going well for you. I didn't mean to attack you or anything and it wasn't my intention to offend, it just seems like you needed a push and your current situation is of your own making and could be easily remedied if you took some initiative. You don't need to scream at a dude that you like that you're into them, or ask them out (if you have that kind of confidence tho good on you) just drop enough hints that they can put two and two together. Men and women are not that different, but most men are not going to bite if there isn't any bait. GL with your online thing... in my experience long distance relationships don't work... but yeah give it a shot. |
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche |
LoneWolf said: fancyjasper said: This was about 3-4 years ago when i was in school. My bad for not making it clearer. I wasn't even on a friend level with the guy, it was just a crush. Haven't spoken to a guy my age irl in years since leaving school and getting a job :^) That's why i said i lack the confidence to take the first step to even find someone. I might be meeting someone i met online which would be a huge step for me, but we'll see. Sometimes i just think it's better to embrace being alone instead of holding out hope in finding someone, that's all. I was being ironic, i never say # anything :> But hey, i'm glad things are going well for you. I didn't mean to attack you or anything and it wasn't my intention to offend, it just seems like you needed a push and your current situation is of your own making and could be easily remedied if you took some initiative. You don't need to scream at a dude that you like that you're into them, or ask them out (if you have that kind of confidence tho good on you) just drop enough hints that they can put two and two together. Men and women are not that different, but most men are not going to bite if there isn't any bait. GL with your online thing... in my experience long distance relationships don't work... but yeah give it a shot. Don't worry about it, i'm not offended or anything. I'm very self aware and understand that my current situation is entirely my own fault. Of course i can't get a boyfriend when no guys know i exist! I would love to be settled down with someone by now. It's embarrassing, but living together with my boyfriend, just hanging out with each other and making him happy is a big dream of mine. It's the biggest thing i want at this point in my life. I'm not as shy as i used to be at all either, so if there was a guy around i liked now i'm sure i'd be able to tell him how i feel. It's just...there's no guys around and i don't have the confidence to put myself out there on a dating site or something to find them >> Yeah i already know long distance relationships don't work actually which is why i'm so reluctant to do it and let myself start having feelings for someone so far away again. I had one for a year and it didn't work out. Still pretty traumatised from that. I knew from the start it was a bad idea, but i just wanted to believe in him, you know. Anyway rant over! |
FancyjasperOct 23, 2019 5:49 AM
| Because since age 12 when I started watching porn (softcore then/only the start with lesbians kissing and stripping), curating it has been my first priority. |
   |
| Have dated, but I'll reply anyway. Because of slim pickings during my high school/teenage years, which in hindsight was a mix of me having "high standards" in that I was really a shallow as some of the girls I tried to hook up with, and some of the girls just being legit trash where, yeah, I was better off just spending my money on video games instead of obsessing over losing my v-card. So, after growing, maturing, and actually going on in my younger twenties, now-a-days I'm just too busy to play the dating game at the moment. |
 |
| this is an anime forum. obviously most people are here incels. you already know the answer op. |
fancyjasper said: LoneWolf said: I didn't mean to attack you or anything and it wasn't my intention to offend, it just seems like you needed a push and your current situation is of your own making and could be easily remedied if you took some initiative. You don't need to scream at a dude that you like that you're into them, or ask them out (if you have that kind of confidence tho good on you) just drop enough hints that they can put two and two together. Men and women are not that different, but most men are not going to bite if there isn't any bait. GL with your online thing... in my experience long distance relationships don't work... but yeah give it a shot. Don't worry about it, i'm not offended or anything. I'm very self aware and understand that my current situation is entirely my own fault. Of course i can't get a boyfriend when no guys know i exist! I would love to be settled down with someone by now. It's embarrassing, but living together with my boyfriend, just hanging out with each other and making him happy is a big dream of mine. It's the biggest thing i want at this point in my life. I'm not as shy as i used to be at all either, so if there was a guy around i liked now i'm sure i'd be able to tell him how i feel. It's just...there's no guys around and i don't have the confidence to put myself out there on a dating site or something to find them >> Yeah i already know long distance relationships don't work actually which is why i'm so reluctant to do it and let myself start having feelings for someone so far away again. I had one for a year and it didn't work out. Still pretty traumatised from that. I knew from the start it was a bad idea, but i just wanted to believe in him, you know. Anyway rant over! I like that we were able to understand each other. You sound like you really care about people and want something genuine with someone that cares about you in the same way you care about them. Give people a chance, there are a lot of bad guys out there that will take advantage of you, but usually those are the ones that are overly forward and want things to move too fast (usually sexually/physically). Yeah, I can't say for sure that you will "find someone", but I'm seriously wishing the best for you cause you seem like a good person that actually deserves to be in a good relationship and hopefully you don't have to go through the same crap that some of us had to go through to get there. GL |
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche |
| never really happened, did have 3 girls openly flirt w/ me only to reject me afterwards and say they had a boyfriend during secondary school. After that I never really had a sexual attraction to anyone, romantic, maybe, but it's fleeting and thinking about sex, it just boils down to one thought that I don't really want to do it (plus usually I'm out drinking with friends if I feel that way, and I don't think drunk sex is the best idea esp. for a first time :P) |
 |
LoneWolf said: fancyjasper said: Don't worry about it, i'm not offended or anything. I'm very self aware and understand that my current situation is entirely my own fault. Of course i can't get a boyfriend when no guys know i exist! I would love to be settled down with someone by now. It's embarrassing, but living together with my boyfriend, just hanging out with each other and making him happy is a big dream of mine. It's the biggest thing i want at this point in my life. I'm not as shy as i used to be at all either, so if there was a guy around i liked now i'm sure i'd be able to tell him how i feel. It's just...there's no guys around and i don't have the confidence to put myself out there on a dating site or something to find them >> Yeah i already know long distance relationships don't work actually which is why i'm so reluctant to do it and let myself start having feelings for someone so far away again. I had one for a year and it didn't work out. Still pretty traumatised from that. I knew from the start it was a bad idea, but i just wanted to believe in him, you know. Anyway rant over! I like that we were able to understand each other. You sound like you really care about people and want something genuine with someone that cares about you in the same way you care about them. Give people a chance, there are a lot of bad guys out there that will take advantage of you, but usually those are the ones that are overly forward and want things to move too fast (usually sexually/physically). Yeah, I can't say for sure that you will "find someone", but I'm seriously wishing the best for you cause you seem like a good person that actually deserves to be in a good relationship and hopefully you don't have to go through the same crap that some of us had to go through to get there. GL Thanks a lot for the kind words. I appreciate it :) |
BallistikJuice said: I would've to hang myself! I know this is correct usage of 'would've' but it looks weird. |
But I know what you mean about the hobby thing. Like, what did she do before me? Just T-pose in her room staring a wall? Is she inactive when I'm not in the room? Why is she an extension of myself and not being her own person? Shit will drive you insane. |
| Dating is not a trend where I live. It's a Muslim country, but a lot of people still manage to date via various channels. I could too, but the hardest part for me is initiation. I just feel awkward to approach a girl just because she looks good. There's always this apprehension she may be extremely dumb and until I've established that, I wouldn't even think about making a move. It usually ends there. But if it doesn't, the next step is finding some pretext; it still feels awkward to approach a girl just because I think she's good looking and smart. It dies out completely at this point. It's easier for me to approach girls on the internet. You can skip the small talk part entirely online and go straight for the kill. I'm not good looking enough to motivate girls to approach me first so I'm stuck. I still think I'm hot stuff though. I'm insanely popular with guys. Almost every guy who hasn't known me for at least a year thinks I'm some sort of a lady killer. I've heard rumors about girls thinking the same about me too. If only the rumors were true... |
-Kookie- said: why doesn't anyone know? Just curious, I mean NY State colleges can't be that regressive. I don't think that you'd have a lot of trouble finding a date, if you really wanted oneDidn't date anyone in high school because I wasn't even remotely interested in women. I even rejected a couple offers, and all I knew was that I wasn't interested for some reason. Then, college rolls around and I get asked out by a girl in one of my classes. It lasted for about a month and we went on one date, and I eventually broke it off. That's one date and I broke up after, so it kinda hardly counts for anything. Now today, I understand a bit more about myself. I'm gay and nobody around me besides my parents know. That's why I haven't been on any dates (not counting the one I previously mentioned). I'm just between a rock and a hard place at the moment. |
| *lampoons inwardly* |
Railey2 said: -Kookie- said: why doesn't anyone know? Just curious, I mean NY State colleges can't be that regressive. I don't think that you'd have a lot of trouble finding a date, if you really wanted oneDidn't date anyone in high school because I wasn't even remotely interested in women. I even rejected a couple offers, and all I knew was that I wasn't interested for some reason. Then, college rolls around and I get asked out by a girl in one of my classes. It lasted for about a month and we went on one date, and I eventually broke it off. That's one date and I broke up after, so it kinda hardly counts for anything. Now today, I understand a bit more about myself. I'm gay and nobody around me besides my parents know. That's why I haven't been on any dates (not counting the one I previously mentioned). I'm just between a rock and a hard place at the moment. For one, I haven't found a proper way to express my sexuality in some way. :p Another reason is I go to a private Christian college, so there's just an extra level of awkward if you come out. |
| I technically don't fall into this category because I was in a relationship for a while in school, but: FlowersInTheRain said: Too busy and focused on your studies or something? Sorta-kinda this. Right now I am absolutely opposed to even seeking that kind of relationship with somebody because of my job and more or less struggling to adapt to adulthood. I am 22, about to be 23, but I have completed my apprenticeship and right now I'm furthering my education in my field overseas. What's important to note here is that I have a paid job still, though. I am financially independent, and I have been for longer than most people who are my age right now. I am committed to my line of work and I take care of myself and my own responsibilities 100%, like a proper adult. I can say that with pride. At the same time, I find the responsibilities and demands to be immensely stressful, and that kills off any prospects of even seeking for things that are a grander commitment in that sphere right now. I want feel like I can go through the day to day routine and not feel worried about everything or stressed out at every financial obligation or necessary expense before I even consider seeking out a relationship. I'm not a fun person in real life right now. I am a very stressed out and irritable person. Furthering that, right now I need to complete the courses I'm taking to further my ability and skills in my career and study hard at those, because god knows science and chemistry is involved and I'm historically not very good at that, so that'll be another hurdle for me in the next couple of years. Basically, I want to focus on me. Entirely on me as much as possible. On my work. On studying. On figuring out how to navigate pretty much everything about being out on my own in the world, because it's been a few years and I still consider it very worrying and stressful. On developing my sustainable, stable, fun and quiet ideal lifestyle. I'm still young and I'm not going to die of old age any time soon, I can put off the added commitments that a relationship entails for a good few years until I'm happy with other aspects of my adult life. And this might be an added bonus more than part of the reason, but if I do that then chances are it'd work out better anyway. I don't mind helping people out here and there and doing things - I'm the head admin of one of the largest clubs for this site and all - but almost every commitment like that is online and comes second to real life, always. So, the kind of commitment a relationship entails isn't something I see myself wanting right now or in the near future. I actively avoid seeking one out. I am not going to be an idiot, rush into a relationship when it probably isn't going to be good for me or my partner in my current life state, just because everybody pretty much immediately assumes something's up if you're not in a committed relationship by your early 20s, it seems. |
ManabanOct 24, 2019 8:28 AM
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